What they forgot to mention
by Pagebypage2467
Summary: What if there was a seductress in Thorin's Company that Bilbo conveniently forgot to mention? What about in The Fellowship? My OC Ílindir Lorentīn's account of what REALLY happened. OC X everyone
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't own Lotr or the Hobbit. This will probably get explicit, just not in this chapter. This chapter is just a filler And my Hobbit bit will go according to the movies, not the books. Because the elves aren't in the books, except at the end. **

I am Ílindir Lorentīn. I am the adopted daughter of Gandalf, created by magycks of the very oldest kind. I've never been a child. I formed fully grown around the human age of 20 years. I was the lover of many. I am everlasting. I am the sister of those in Thorin's Company. I am the cousin of the those in the Fellowship. I am beautiful. I am terrible. I'm kind of a whore. And this is my story.

I travelled with Thorin and company and the fellowship of the ring, but I was never mentioned in Bilbo's book, nor Frodo's. This is of my own doing. I told the two not to mention me, or my escapades, for their own and their friends dignity. I have done unspeakable things to the Company and the Fellowship, and now, I'm going to speak them.

But first, I'd like to clear some things up. I didn't sleep with Gandalf. (Eww, he's like my father, even if he _did _abandon me to the elves). Second, I haven't slept with anybody whose married. Third, everyone I've slept with, my husband knows about. He doesn't really care. Thinks it's hot. And I only married him _after _our adventures had ended. And finally, I can only get pregnant if I want to, just to clear up confusion before it starts. And now, to begin it all.

**A/N: alright! First chapter over. I only sort of know where this is going so you guys can send me requests for her *ahem* escapades. R&R!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: rated M for smut and fluff in future chapters.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own nothin but Ílindir Lorentīn.**

I suppose I shall begin with my the beginning of my involvement with Thorin's company, because that is where Bilbo starts leaving myself out.

After a long journey through unexpected peril from Mirkwood and Rivendell, (the details of which I will later digress) my father Gandalf And I arrived in the Shire. Beautiful country, full of naive little people with the funniest name. Hobbits, my father told me they were called. What sort of name is that, I ask you? He would not asnwer, so we approached a little Hobbit smoking a pipe, in silence.

"Good Morning." Said the little hobbit pleasantly, puffing out a smoke ring.

"And to you, Master Hobbit." I replied, bowing shortly. He raised an eyebrow. Proper ladies do not bow, they curtsy. I've never given the pretense that I was a proper lady. And I never will. My father, of course had a more peculiar response.

"What do you mean? Do you mean to wish us a good morning? Or do you mean it is a good morning whether we want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say you feel particularly good on this morning? Or are you simply stating that this a morning to be good on?" he said trickily. I elbowed him sharply.

"I apologize. My father does love riddles." The poor hobbit looked bewildered.

"I-it is fine I suppose. I guess I mean to say all of them." He blundered, shrugging noncommittally. Gandalf looked down his nose at the small creature. The Hobbit stared back.

"I'm sorry, can I help you?" He asked confusedly, addressing me. After meeting my father, most men do.

"That remains to be seen." Gandalf and I proclaimed in unison. He gave me a look, and I stepped back, adjusting the maroon feather sticking jauntily out o of my hair.

"We are looking for someone to share in an adventure. " he went on imperiously, studying the small folk seriously.

"An adventure? No, I don't think so. Nobody west of Bree would want in on adventure." He gathered up his pipe and mail, which he had been sorting through, and bowing deeply to me said;

"Good morning, Miss, Sir." And headed up stairs as if nothing had happened. I looked at Gandalf incredulously. Who does this little Hobbit think he is, turning down an adventure from Gandalf then going off just like that?

" Excuse me Creature of the Shire, who do you think you are, turning down an offer from _Gandalf the Grey, _just like that?" I spat at the retreating back of the Hobbit. He turned sharply.

"Gandalf? " The Hobbit said incredulously. "Yes, yes I remember you! You used to put on the most lively fireworks at Old Took's!" My father laughed contentedly.

"Well, I'm pleased to find your remember something about me, even if it's only my fireworks. Well that's decided. It will be very good for you, and most amusing for me. I shall inform the others." My eyes widened in shock. So did the Hobbit's.

"Father!" I yelped as he brushed me aside.

"Inform the who? What? No. No. No! Wait. We do not want any adventures here, thank you. Not today, not-mm. I suggest you try over the Hill or across the Water. Good morning." He scurried up the path, and my father nudged me forward. I groaned.

"Must I father? He's so... Small."

"Go on, Ìlindīr. Work your magic, my dear." I sighed and undid the first couple of ties on my elven tunic, exposing my neck, collarbone and then the tops of my ample bosom, 2 round orbs any woman, mortal or immortal would be envious of. I turned on the charm.

"Master Hobbit!"I called seductively, trotting up the path after him. I scowled back at my father, and the Hobbit turned around. His eyes widened as they landed on my breasts. I fought back a scowl. I leaned down so I could speak to him more directly.

"Master Hobbit, I _implore_ you, _please _consider my fathers offer of an adventure." Bilbo's eyes glazed over and he nodded absently.

"Of course." His small chubby hand drifted forward and caressed the front of my tunic. I inwardly shuddered in disgust. I had bed Dwarves before, all very small, and enjoyed it,but the demeanor of a Hobbit is like that of a child and Master Baggin's touch felt like that of one, greedy and grubby. It wasn't nessecarily un pleasurable, and not foreign, but wrong. I don't have many morals, but I made a promise to myself _to never _bed a Hobbit. But I fluttered my eyelashes at the Hobbit.

"I must go. But you will consider it, yes?" I asked, slowly re-fastening my tunic. Bilbo shook him self and blushed, nodding. He shut his little Hobbit door behind him and I shuddered, trying to wipe of imaginary handprints. Gandalf chuckled in the distance, and I traced his mark on the door.

**Read and Review Please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: ****please please please please please please please please review! And requests for pairings are always welcome!**

**Warning: SMUT NEXT CHAPTER**

**Disclaimer: Me no own-y**

I spent the rest of that day hiding in my room at a little in called the Green Dragon. I didn't want any grabby Hobbits getting any ideas. Now, let me get something straight. Bilbo was my friend. Frodo became one of my dearest companions. I do like Hobbits. I just could not lie with one. They are more like children than Dwarves.

The day passed quickly, and when night fell, I collected my strawberry blonde locks into a plait, stuck in my customary maroon feathers, and headed off to Master Bilbo's house.

Before hand, I had only met the company once, not including Thorin, who, being a friend of my father, had been introduced to me many years prior. But when I arrived at Bag-End in the midst of the Dwarven merry making, I was accepted into the group , despite being equipped with both a crossbow and a sword, with a toast by the twins;

"To beautiful, terrifying women!" And a roar of approval by all. Fili handed me another mug with a wink, and I flushed. Must've be the liquor taking affect. As Bombur devoured enough food to feed an Elven army and as I joked and laughed with the rest, I noticed a poor Bilbo Baggins trying to save his poor Hobbit-hole from destruction.

"Oh no no no! Not the jam! Put that back! Put that back!" I howled in laughter and toasted with the dwarves. Bilbo glared at me sullenly, and I pouted prettily back. I hadn't bound myself to him, hadn't made any promises. He needn't act so betrayed. Fili, the blonde twin, leaned across the table.

"What's a pretty maiden like yourself doing on a dangerous quest?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"I'm accompanying my Adar. And when he's away, I'm to watch over you. And to offer my...assistance." I replied airily, winking back at him. Bofur stuffed a loaf of bread into his maw.

"Your Adar, huh? Who's that?" A knock sounded at the door, and nobody noticed but Bilbo.

"Oh no. No, no! There's nobody home. Go away, and bother somebody else. There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If- if- If this is some clotterd's idea of a joke, ha ha, I can only say, it is in very poor taste." He muttered, opening the door, letting 8 dwarves tumble in. Standing behind them, is my father.

"That's him!" I giggled, gesturing to Gandalf, who waved a little.

_"He's _your father?!"

"Wizards daughter, knew something bout her was damn unnatural!"

"The only thing unnatural about that girl is those breasts!" Muttered an unseen dwarf. I rolled my eyes and grabbed Kili's arm and dragged him into a room with a keg.

"Let's pick things up a bit, yes?" I smirked, filling mug after mug with ale and handing them to Kili, who stared dumbstruck.

"Good God woman, I think I might be in love!" He grabbed my hand with his right hand and stacked 3 mugs of ale in the left and I grabbed as many as possible with my free hand. Kili dragged me into the other room and pulled me up on the table. I danced on the table, laughing wildly and distributing ale with Fili. My father clapped in time with the rhythm of our feet and the many dishes of food being kicked off the table.

"Who wants an ale? There you go." Fili laughed, handing a mug to Oin.

"Let us have another drink!" Cried Dwalin, slamming his palms on the table. I laughed and a obliged him, while Kili passed out other mugs, still managing to spin me somehow.

"Here you go." He said, dipping me and giving a mug to Dori. He finally stopped dancing and kissed me lightly on the cheek, helping me off the table to the cheers of the dwarves. I blushed and obliged. Now, each of us had just been given a new mug of ale which we all gulped down, most of it spilling down the Dwarve's beard. When finished drinking, they began burping; the youngest, Ori, let out the biggest burp. The dwarves laughed. I laughed along with them, and I watched as Ori asked Master Baggins where to put his plate. Fili looked up, slamming down his ale mug.

"Here Ori, give it to me." Fili took the plate from Ori and threw it to Kili, who threw it behind his back to Bifur, who is standing at the sink in the kitchen. Bifur caught it behind his back, without even looking at it. Kili, Fili, and other dwarves began to throw the plates, bowls, and utensils to each other, and eventually threw them to the sink to be washed. As dish ware flew through the air, Gandalf and I ducked to avoid getting hit. They began to sing, mocking Bilbo and still flinging dish ware. Suddenly 3 loud knocks punctuated the night.

"He's here." They muttered in unison. Gandalf opened the door to another dwarf, this one with dark black hair and beard, grizzled like the bear of a dwarf he was. I recognized him immediately.

"Thorin! It is a pleasure to see you!" I called, waving to the Dwarf, who didn't return the gesture.

**A/N: R&R PLEASE!**


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: Wow some people liked and followed this story! Cool! Maybe more reviews now? If it's not to much to ask... Maybe? Ok? Or no. Whatever is fine with you..._**

**_HEY YOU! Yeah you! chichi! omigoshthanks so much I never get feed back and you're so nice and THANKYOU_**

**_WARNING: there will be smut in this chapter. Or lemons. Whatever you want to call it._**

**_Pairings: Kili/OC/Fili_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own shit._**

Hours later, after many beautiful growly songs and not a few pints of ale, we finally had the decency to leave the Hobbit hole. The dwarves collected their weapons and tidied the Bilbo's house on their way out. I started to follow Adar back towards the green dragon, but 2 pairs of small calloused hands pulled me back. I turned, almost hitting the the twins in the face with my elf-like plait.

"Join us, lass. First night of many on the quest, aye?" Fili asked, winking. I vaguely noticed Thorin watching us, but I allowed my self to be dragged down a long path to East farthing woods. Adar never looked back. A small fire was made and the majority of the dwarves sat around it. They dropped their bedrolls and swords, then lead me to a clearing far away from the dwarf camp.

Dragging me down to his level, Fili roughly captured my lips with his own. I responded in the same fashion, bringing my hands up to grip his shirt. His fumbled on the fastenings of my dress. I moved his hand and swiftly undid them. He released me, gasping for air. Before I could get the rest of the tunic off, Kili fairly tackled me onto the ground, skillfully kissing me while at the same time letting his hand stray down the front of my tunic. His brother forcefully shoved him off.

"Hey! I want to go first!" He whined, straddling me. his blonde beard brushed my exposed breast, delight fully scruffy against the bare skin. He started a brustly trail of kisses down her neck. His brother shoved him off, the two of them wrestling on the heathery ground, rolling around like they no doubt did as children. I sat up, pulling off my tunic and undershirt (yes I wear an undershirt; like a man), leaving me topless in my leggings and soft leather boots. I watched them roll around for a bit.

"OI! I have needs too! Over here! Attractive woman you were in the middle of-" I stopped short. Both dwarves were shirtless and still rolling.

"I can wait." I muttered. It was a nice sight. Fili had light blonde hair on his upper chest, and Kili was mostly hairless except for some dark stubble near his waist. They looked up when I shouted, and their eyes widened. A look passed between them and they charged for me, tripping over their feet. I started to laugh, but Kili silenced me with lustful, hungry kisses.

His brother kissed down from my cheek to my collarbone, then began to tease me, playing with my nipples and licking my breasts all over. I moaned into Kili's mouth. he cupped my chin and lifted me to him and my left hand stroked Fili's hair, and the other tangled itself in his brother's ebony locks. His small deft fingers pinched and rubbed my breast, and his teeth nipped, sending delicious chills up my spine. Through the cloth breeches he wore, I felt Fili's erection harden against my stomach. Kili gasped for air. I stood up quickly and began pulling off my boots.

"Look boys, I only have 2 changes of clothes with me and I really don't want to ruin my first one on the night before this journey starts!" I tossed my fine spun leggings by an oak tree, and jumped back into the fray. The only thing standing between me and certain intense pleasure were the cotton breeches that were still on the twins. I lunged at Fili, kissing him intensly, not needing permission to slip my tongue into his mouth. My hand trailed its way down his body and yanked off the pants of the dwarf under me.

Deceptively strong and unsurprisingly dominant, he rolled me on top of me and with out any warning thrust harshly into me. I gasped and broke lip contact, moaning heavily. I sat up until I was straddling him, his erection at full staff inside me, large, for a dwarf, but not the biggest I'd taken. I bounced up and down on his hips, hissing in pleasure as he moaned loudly. His brother watched forlornly from the side, erection evident. He seemed to be trying to find a way to get in on the action.

In a haze, I beckoned him over. He was taller than I sitting and when he approached me, I yanked him into sitting and I kissed him, ran his fingers through my hair, casting aside the feathers, unravelling the braids. I cupped his erection through the cloth and he moaned into my mouth. I deepend the kiss. I pulled aside his pants and put sprung his erection, which I took into my mouth. He nearly screamed in pleasure. I implied myself onto his brother while I lightly ran my teeth over Kili's dwarf hood. I am extraordinarily sensitive, and it didn't take too much to send me over the edge. I shuddered, whole body quaking, stopping everything and the dwarf beneath me Grunted and howled and empytied his load inside me. I weakly bobbed my head along Kili and soon he too climaxed. He moaned and pulled me forward, kissing me deeply, not seeming to mind that I had just had his seed in my mouth. Exhausted, I curled against him, Fili grabbing my naked waist from behind. And we stayed that way,a sleep, until the sun rose and we dressed and headed back to the hobbit's for breakfast.

**A/N: Never wrote smut before, so r&r!**


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